I have quite a few layers, you know

I'll keep it short and sweet. I'm a 26 year old gay transman who's (hopefully) starting his journey on HRT. So, he/him pronouns, and call me J.

I ordered the V-Neck Deep Binde, http://www.lesloveboat.com/shop/product_info.php?cPath=81&products_id=104 and it finally arrived. Packaging was discreet, as promised, but it does say “Love Boat Shop on the from label. Not that big of a worry.

As promised. Material is soft and light weight. Front kinda makes a crinkling sound, but it’s not that loud.

Yours truly with a sports bra. This is generally what I wear. Unfortunately, the bottom of the arm hole digs into my skin. Ow. It does a pretty good job of compressing already.

With the binder on. There isn’t that much of a difference, but the binder does push things more towards the middle of my chest for a more male appearance. More importantly, it’s comfortable! There’s less restriction to my breathing than with the bra and it doesn’t dig in. From a preliminary point of view, I don’t think there’d be any chaffing. 

Without anything. This probably isn’t the best shirt to be wearing since it’s loose, but like I mentioned, there isn’t a huge difference between the bra and binder in term of flatness, which isn’t a major surprise to me due to how flat I am. Regardless, pleased with the purchase.

Had my doctor visit this evening. My doctor was a very nice, older, gentleman. Very soft spoken. He was quite willing to listen to me and my concerns about insurance. So, at the moment, I’m listed as “undiagnosed endocrine disorder” and am being referred to an endocrinologist since he felt that what I was wanting was beyond his ability and would rather me go to someone who specializes in hormones. It could take up to two months to get in to see someone, but I’m fine with this. The ball is rolling and I’ve accomplished more in the past two months than I have in a year.

In regards to my grades issue. I’m going to be pulled out of my classes and given an Incomplete, then in the spring, I’ll be going and taking the needed undergrad courses while doing a 1 hour course in my program to keep me active. My financial aid won’t change and I can keep the apartment. It’s…Not exactly what I wanted, but I think it’ll be better in the long run. I’m still going to be working on learning the material so I can be ahead of the curve for next fall.

Also, with my new clothes I’m passing even better. I went to wal-mart last night with the girls in my study group and was trying to find the coffee. Guy that worked there went “How can I help ya, partner?” Told him I was looking for the coffee and he didn’t stumble over my voice or anything. So. Yay.

I updated the resources page with a few things I’ve discovered to be helpful. I’ve copied/pasted it under the cut for those who would want to reblog it.

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Bunch of things. I suppose I’ll start off with the bad news, at least, for me.

My grades this year have been pretty dismal and there’s talks of pulling me out of the graduate program and putting me into remedial/undergrad courses during the spring to beef up my knowledge on things, then putting me back into the program next fall.

The undergrad stuff I did was 2000 level courses and the graduate is 7000, so a major leap. On top of things, extra credit was something that was handed out like candy. So, it was usually easy to screw up a couple times and still make a good grade. To make matters worse,  they weren’t really interested in teaching, so I struggled.

All the areas where I had poor instructors is where I’m struggling. Admittedly, I could have studied better, but I’m smart enough to know that I was struggling way, way too hard with my chemistry. My mom and the student affairs people keep wondering if it’s because I’m trying to start the transitioning process, which is aggravating.

I go to therapy once a week. I talk about things, maybe do research if needed, but that’s not something that’s really at the forefront of my mind, especially since I’ve gotten my letter and am waiting on my doctor appointment tomorrow. I actually need a health checkup due to various health issues.

So, at the moment, the main concern is if I do this, if I’ll be able to keep my apartment since it’s for students at this campus and I’d be taking the undergrad stuff at a different campus, as well as if financial aid will cover things/transfer.

In brighter news, the campus is starting a LGBTQ group that I signed up for and my binder shipped yesterday. Doesn’t really do much to soften the blow of everything.

Suit get.

It happened. I ended up spending a lot on various button downs, that jacket, and ties.

….Dear god I love ties. I also found a 4 piece suit in the boys section at wal-mart. I’m going to probably give away the pants since they’re elastic, but I mainly wanted the vest.

Got called “he” by the general public a few times. Yay. Probably had to do with me holding a button down and some ties. I’ll post pictures of the haul in the morning. I’m tired.

So the two ladies I have study group with are really nice. They’re pretty indifferent about me being transgender. There’s the occasional question that might pop up, but overall, nothing as changed beyond usage of my chosen name and male pronouns. Both of them enjoy “Retail therapy”. Me personally, I hate shopping and find it boring. However, they wanted to hit up some clothing stores, so I reluctantly agreed due to needing more button downs for winter (I only have two long sleeve).

At that point, one decided that they needed to help my find cheap clothes that fit. So, I guess that’s happening.

In other news, my classmates in lab and professors are referring to me as J, which works out great. I contacted my supervisor for my rotations on Wed, but introduced myself as my birthname. When I see her next week, I’ll explain everything. So, that’ll be interesting.

Oh hai new follower.

Mom’s still apprehensive about it all, but she’s slowly coming around. She admitted today that she’s willing to accept the hormones, but really wants me as a daughter. It’s an improvement.

Scheduled a doctor appointment for the end of next week, which is after the massive exam rush. The university has a clinic that I’ll be going to. Receptionist was really nice and understanding about my concerns with insurance.

More than anything, I’m not looking forward to having the blood drawn. Mainly because I can’t really find anything online that has to do with transgenders.

So, rah.